Should we embrace vulnerability?

“The state of being open to injury or appearing as if you are”

Few years from now I believed that being vulnerable makes you weak. It makes you weak in the eyes of people around you and makes you an object of ridicule. In order to stand firm and be confident therefore you need to defy being weak and continuously show your perfect side to the world to the point they can criticize nothing about you. What I did not understand though that by constantly putting up a facade (which feels the easiest thing to do) not only I saw everyone with an eye of judgement, I was constantly judging myself as well. “I am not good enough, not beautiful enough, not smart enough and so on”

The thing about being perfect is; you want to control everything, not just things that happen to you but also what emotions you feel afterwards. I wanted to numb the feelings of grieve sadness and despair because these are the feelings that make you vulnerable they make you weak. but the thing about emotions is ( what i took years to understand) that you can’t subjectively numb emotions. You cant choose to numb the bad emotions and choose to only feel the good ones. you also numb the good emotions of happiness, contentment, fulfillment, the ones that make life worth living for. You cant feel them anymore and ultimately you want to escape reality because you find no meaning in living your life. Thus  we find ourselves, stuffing ourselves with banana muffins,beer, cigarettes etc

The point I am trying to make here is that in putting control over every thing that happen to us we are defying the very true nature of life; it doesn’t follow us we follow it. in accepting our lives and ourselves as not perfect;  we accept others as not being perfect as well. we become a better friend, a better partner, a better parent. and above all for once we become less demanding of ourselves, within our relationships and from our kids. instead of telling them they need to secure the highest grade and become the best in tennis. we tell them no matter who you are and what grade you take, you deserve to be loved because you are worthy of it. A thing all kids need to hear.

Advertisements

Being specific is more important than we think.

via Daily Prompt: Specific

Quiet often we find ourselves wishing for a lifestyle we do not have and even if we try, we fail to live up to those wishes. not because we do not know how to achieve it, mostly because we do not feel the motivation to work for it. this is the reason why most of our resolution changes in to unfulfilled wishes by the end of January. and thus what should have been the MUST remains a WANT and finally changes in to CAN’T.

Think of an area in your life that you wish to improve.

Connection with God? Is it your diet?  any habit?

Also think of what it would feel like to finally live that wish. Be specific as if you can experience it.

Now think of what are some of the rituals in your life that are stopping you from changing it? Define those rituals to yourself and make a list of stuff you do.  

E.g you spend a lot of time using your cellphone/computer which is why you cant find time to exercise. etc.

Now think of the rituals that you MUST do in order to achieve that change you thought in the first place. Make a list of rituals that will result in that change of lifestyle.

E.g “I MUST limit the use of cellphone/computer so that I can exercise more”. Again be specific.

Now little by little start incorporating these rituals in your life and slowly you will find yourself living the change you have been wishing for so long to see.

I know it isn’t easy as it sounds but changing one’s lifestyle takes work and just wishing for it is not enough. It requires motivation and the right rituals that will pull you towards that goal. good luck ! 🙂

P.S: I Hope this was helpful. My goal was to be as specific as I can be, I noticed my Posts can be too long 😛  

“Highway to anxiety, dirt-road to success” lets change this in 2017.

The most important thing that controls the course of our life: Is it the decisions that we make? or is it the conditions that we meet? Yes God has given us conditions in which we live but He has also given us the power to make decisions. Decisions what to do, decision what to believe. If anybody would ask me what is the most important decision that I made for my life: that would be to live in a beautiful state.. Now what does that mean? It means that the moment suffering arises, I’m going to decide that I am not going to suffer and I’m going to be the best version of myself.

Suffering is one thing, pain is another thing. Suffering is when you’re thinking about what you did or didn’t do, or what someone else did or didn’t do. It is ME obsessing about ME. It is the ME ME ME game. In order to end any form of suffering you decide that you’re going to live in a beautiful state: a state where you are not going to focus on yourself, you are going to focus on something greater than yourself! your mission, your life, your purpose. when you think about these it doesn’t matter how deep you are in that suffering you instantly change.

Look, our mind was not designed to make us happy. It was designed to make us survive and which is why it is constantly thinking about whats going wrong around us. Previously it used think about survival but now it concentrates on what people think.

Life is short. We don’t know how short it is going to be. If you knew you would die tomorrow you wont be obsessing about what your boss said to you. You would do whatever you can to enjoy those final moments. You would take awe in a sunset, you would spend time with your family. So my question is why wait? huh why wait? why not have it now?

Decide today that you are not gonna suffer and you are going to live in a beautiful state. and I can promise you this is how you change “highway to anxiety and dirt-road to success” to “dirt-road to anxiety and high way to success!”

images-6

Daily Prompt: Discover. “I think therefore I am”

Looking at this prompt and thinking what comes to my mind when I hear the word “discover?” Discovery channel ? A channel I grew up watching. Thinking about it fills my head with beautiful memories. but what does “discover” means to me? Everything. For what I feel discovery is the core of the nature of human beings. This is what makes us human and makes us different from all other species of animal kingdom. Imagine for a second, life without discovery. It would have been true misery..

“Discover” what started as a word that made me think what would I even write about it. Now means a world to me. Its what makes me, me. All our life if we have done anything good it would be to discover. Discover what to do, Discover what to believe. Make sure to always discover more, think more and grow more as Rene Descartes rightly says “I think therefore I am”

The wedding stories – Mariya and Aimun

Such a beautiful couple! may God bless their marriage.

Rantsofadesibride

(*The Giveaway Week is now LIVE! Enter now! Click on: “How to Enter” for details*)

An old friend of mine Mariya Dada recently got married and instead of doing the classic fairy tale wedding that most girls desire and wish for, she and her husband Aimun Asif Varind decided to go with a wedding that bought happiness to way more people than just her family and friends by having a small nikah/reception with just 40 people and a valima dinner for kids at Sirat ul Jannah.

15418567_10210483025005593_1837514620933937410_o Source: Mariya Dada

Me: Blah blah blah, blah blah blah, give me details.

Mariya:
“So earlier this year when we decided on dates for the wedding, we started like any other couples. Making guest lists, making a budget and booking halls etc. We visited a lot of halls and realized how expensive everything was, but since we had originally planned for…

View original post 1,130 more words

Me and You.

Hey everyone,

Its been a long time since I last blogged, nowadays I have got nothing to do because of my semester break. So, I thought why not I catch up with you guys again. (its been a year! :P)

This post is all going to be about getting to know each other. So feel free to comment down below what you guys have been doing the whole year, I would love to read them.

I, on the other hand, got admission in BS Psychology at Institute of Professional Psychology, Bahria University, Karachi. And, I’m done with my 2nd Semester.

I have been reading lately and hopefully my posts will be better than my previous ones. (I know they were trash!!)

Anyway, super excited to share so many thoughts with you guys! the past year has been a cause of major change in my Self and I plan to share this with you, some of that change was because of studying psychology ofcourse, and other because of experience. Once again do let me know what you guys have been doing and, also let me know if you guys would be interested in learning bits about psychology. (I personally love it!)