The most important thing that controls the course of our life: Is it the decisions that we make? or is it the conditions that we meet? Yes God has given us conditions in which we live but He has also given us the power to make decisions. Decisions what to do, decision what to believe. If anybody would ask me what is the most important decision that I made for my life: that would be to live in a beautiful state.. Now what does that mean? It means that the moment suffering arises, I’m going to decide that I am not going to suffer and I’m going to be the best version of myself.
Suffering is one thing, pain is another thing. Suffering is when you’re thinking about what you did or didn’t do, or what someone else did or didn’t do. It is ME obsessing about ME. It is the ME ME ME game. In order to end any form of suffering you decide that you’re going to live in a beautiful state: a state where you are not going to focus on yourself, you are going to focus on something greater than yourself! your mission, your life, your purpose. when you think about these it doesn’t matter how deep you are in that suffering you instantly change.
Look, our mind was not designed to make us happy. It was designed to make us survive and which is why it is constantly thinking about whats going wrong around us. Previously it used think about survival but now it concentrates on what people think.
Life is short. We don’t know how short it is going to be. If you knew you would die tomorrow you wont be obsessing about what your boss said to you. You would do whatever you can to enjoy those final moments. You would take awe in a sunset, you would spend time with your family. So my question is why wait? huh why wait? why not have it now?
Decide today that you are not gonna suffer and you are going to live in a beautiful state. and I can promise you this is how you change “highway to anxiety and dirt-road to success” to “dirt-road to anxiety and high way to success!”
“The state of being open to injury or appearing as if you are”
Few years from now I believed that being vulnerable makes you weak. It makes you weak in the eyes of people around you and makes you an object of ridicule. In order to stand firm and be confident therefore you need to defy being weak and continuously show your perfect side to the world to the point they can criticize nothing about you. What I did not understand though that by constantly putting up a facade (which feels the easiest thing to do) not only I saw everyone with an eye of judgement, I was constantly judging myself as well. “I am not good enough, not beautiful enough, not smart enough and so on”
The thing about being perfect is; you want to control everything, not just things that happen to you but also what emotions you feel afterwards. I wanted to numb the feelings of grieve sadness and despair because these are the feelings that make you vulnerable they make you weak. but the thing about emotions is ( what i took years to understand) that you can’t subjectively numb emotions. You cant choose to numb the bad emotions and choose to only feel the good ones. you also numb the good emotions of happiness, contentment, fulfillment, the ones that make life worth living for. You cant feel them anymore and ultimately you want to escape reality because you find no meaning in living your life. Thus we find ourselves, stuffing ourselves with banana muffins,beer, cigarettes etc
The point I am trying to make here is that in putting control over every thing that happen to us we are defying the very true nature of life; it doesn’t follow us we follow it. in accepting our lives and ourselves as not perfect; we accept others as not being perfect as well. we become a better friend, a better partner, a better parent. and above all for once we become less demanding of ourselves, within our relationships and from our kids. instead of telling them they need to secure the highest grade and become the best in tennis. we tell them no matter who you are and what grade you take, you deserve to be loved because you are worthy of it. A thing all kids need to hear.